Today I took my boys to the doctor’s office. Two out of three of them needed to be looked at (Jarek has a wicked diaper rash, Ethan has a bug bite on his face that won’t go away). Anyone who has kids, especially anyone who has three boys, will understand what an undertaking this is. This requires full out army-style planning.
7:00 am-Ready the boys for the day (breakfast, teeth, etc.) and get them onto the school bus which I drive to do our morning bus run.
9:00 am-Arrive home with the bus. Switch car seat to the truck. Grab bottles and sippy cups full of juice, snacks, diapers, and extra clothes. Strap everyone into their car seats. Head for Brantford (a 40 minute drive with no traffic).
10:00 am- Arrive at the Dr.’s. Tired already. Unstrap boys from car seats. Unfold stroller with one hand. Wrestle kicking 20 month-old into it.
10:10 am- In the Dr’s office. Right on time. Try (and fail) to get all three boys to sit down. Open emergency stash of Spongebob Squarepants fruit snacks. Already.
10:12 am- Explain to the boys that that’s really all the Spongebob’s that you had and offer them gum instead in desperation.
10:20 am- Get called into Dr.’s office (while trying to wrestle the 20 month-old into a diaper in the tiny bathroom). Gather up stroller, purse, diaper bag and all three kids and head into tiny waiting room. Try to sit down.
10:30 am-Sitting down didn’t last. Try to get the boys out of the cupboards, out of the drawers, off the computer and of off the Dr.’s table. Find a Big Bird toy and try to amuse the kids. For about three seconds. Repeat “Don’t touch that! I said, don’t touch that!” more times than you can count.
10:45 am- Exhaustion sets in. Dr. comes into office. Checks out the kids. Mentions that it’s been a long time since the kids have been in (no wonder!). Hold baby down for not one, but two needles. Try to keep kids from playing with the stirrups on the Dr.’s table. Fail. Try not to cry.
10:52 am- All done. Whew! Strap 20 month-old back into stroller, re-pack diaper bag, find shoes (how the heck did that happen???), locate purse, check that the contents are still inside, and escape towards the truck.
10:54 am- 3 year-old needs to pee. Turn stroller around, and repeat previous procedure.
10:58 am-Strap all three kids back into their car seats while they scream and wiggle. Try to fold the (stupid!) stroller, finally give up and shove it into the back of the truck unfolded. Get into vehicle. Deal with crying, complaining kids for about 20 minutes until you just give up and crank the radio.
Now, I’m not even going to describe what it was like trying to pick up a prescription and a library book on the way home. It was a nightmare. I then dropped the oldest back at school and am sitting here at home listening to the kids get into things until we leave with the bus again in 20 minutes. I’m not even going to mention the pile of laundry waiting for me in the laundry room. Or the fact that the maid did not clean the house while I was gone. It’s going to be a long afternoon.